LESSON OF THE DAY 574

Ayah of the Day:
And those who were blind in the here and now will be blind in the hereafter, and more deviant in their way. [17: 72]

Hadith of the Day:
Two qualities are never coupled in a believer: miserliness and immorality. [Bukhari]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Regret over misdeeds erases them, and pride over good deeds ruins them. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

Guidance of the Day:
Negotiating Conflicts: Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships--with friends, family, loved ones, and at work. Problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time. Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy. Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is. Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. Often, there are workable options for solving problems that we will not even see until we become open to the concept of working through problems in relationships, rather than running from the problems.

To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and sole problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues. We need to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible. Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are learning to work together through their problems and conflicts in ways that work in both people's best interest. [The Language of Letting Go]

Food for Thought:
A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when "forget-me-nots" are withered.